All over the Map...Repeat

This is a posting from the Mooncakes blog. The next couple of entries will show the struggle in our thought process as we pray and talk, and pray and talk over if and when to proceed with Foster Care. This original entry was from February 11, 2009.


See this little stack of paper?


It is driving me CRAZY. I'm all over the map right now on wanting to adopt again. I'm insane. John and I both really feel like we want to add to the family...and yet we both agree....this is not the best time to be messing with our finances. After 2, back to back adoptions we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...and that light is looking pretty dang good. On top of the big kids starting to fly out the door...that financial light is getting brighter every day, because we ALL know...kid are spendy.

The little paper pile above is Foster Care paperwork. Yeah you heard me. I guess our theory is...after 5...what's 1 or 2 more. Really...anything over 3 kids is not a big deal. It's just one more set of shoes to tie! :) We are specifically interested in Foster/adopt...because these kids need homes too and the process requires our hearts and not so much our finances. (Just being honest here...those of you whom have adopted know where I'm coming from...)

While the paperwork is nothing like....dossier paperwork for China...


It is time consuming...but what's a little time right?! Anyway...John and I have a lot more talking that we need to do about this Foster Care thing. Both of our hearts are in it...but is the timing right? Yesterday the timing was perfect...today the timing is...not so perfect. Like maybe we should just wait until Christopher graduates in June and is off to the Air Force and THEN do it. I will have a free room and more space for Adam and Avonlea to spread out....ugh...I just don't know. John and I still would love, love to adopt from China once more too...though we are exploring domestic adoption and have found an agency (and yes even STARTED paperwork for them.) Do you see what I'm saying?! I'm losing it.

One of my dear bff's Leah and my Mom have gotten the brunt of my insane chatter on this. Sorry ladies...but thanks for patiently listening to me talk it out. It's NO secret to them that I want another BABY...I'm literally praying for one to be dropped into our laps. Sounds crazy right? I know!!!

SO...for today. We are waiting. Stay tuned because tomorrow...or even this afternoon, could be a different story.